So disgusted

I managed to eat a little today tho, next banana will be my third, I just can't let it go. What does it say about me when a video of a chick dancing is more pleasurable than I am in living flesh? So I watch the video again, I'm glad I haven't vomit in weeks, I don't want to either, your skin gets dry and discolored, you smell of vomit and it does not bring anything good with it. I was up last night without being able to sleep, so I watched Stripped: Live in the UK for the first time in more than a year and I finally remember why, simply because I'm nothing. My "favourite" performances are following;



Dirrty


Get Mine, Get Yours


And why? Because they are the once I can absorb the most out of and therefor not feel guilty cutting to.


I still love this video, I don't even understand how I can love something that fucks me up.



And the other question will be, how can this one person on a video fuck me up? I never met her or spoke to her, well, I guess it's the same thing like how can a guy jizz all over his computer screen when this video shows up.


Anyways, what's going to be done today? Not much I assume, I don't think i'll eat any what mum would call "real food" today, I need to lose weight anyway. I can't be tiny and have what others do have, so i'd rather be a walking skeleton.

btw, hate of the day; meat. In both ways. Guys talk about liking their girls to have some "meat", for fuck sake, we're not cows, don't talk to us like we're on the way to the slaughterhouse. "Meat". Jeez, get a grip. And not all chicks look good with any fat weight, it's all bone structure, mine tell me I need to lose it because it's all in the wrong places, your lower abdomen shouldn't be fat. And it's fucking sick, I don't know why I didn't just kill myself when I had the opportunity, I'd have been much better off. And meat in the regular way, ugh. Vegitarians rule! I love my veggie food and I can't even think about meat without feeling like vometing.
Jessica Simpson wore a tee that said "Real Girls Eat Meat", shut up, fat bitch, you know how unhealthy it is for you? You're not even skinny, so let's not go there.

My old me is DEAD, gone. Lix is returning sometimes, but most is gone. Now i'm more like... Gabby, the bitch. She doesn't like anything. Exept the Mr. Lix loves the Mr. only too, but she's nice. Gabby is mean. I don't like Gabby. She needs to be killed and the old me return. I love Lix tho, she can still be with me, she's nice. She's loving. She puts everybody else in front of her. That's Lix. I love her. More than me.

/Lilita Luv