My face is ruined

I can't do the "natural" thing because I look fucking disgusting in it. People are born with pretty faces sometimes, but I wasn't and it's not like could afford to change that. I wish I could just put on a mask so nobody could see me, ot always have a paperbag pulled over my head but one thing is certain and that is I don't want people to be able to look at me. I don't want anybody else to see me. Not even him, especially not him, not until some miracle cures my face it's just all wrong and it needs to be undone because I can't pretend to like myself forever. I tried the natural makeup and I looked like shit, it looked fucking awful. Disgusting.

Let me be her, please <3

I can't stand this shit anymore. I don't want to live in this shit for much longer because if I do, i'll disappear totally. Parts of me already fell out, I am going back to being constantly tired, I slept for 11 hours today which is a bad sign already. It's not 15 hours, but it's still bad. I used to sleep 15 hours, that was nice. And I didn't eat either. So my belly was always empty and I was always tired so I could sleep, to Christmas i'll be back there again unless a miracle comes along.


"And then along comes Mary...."

Just a thought... Well, since I can't be hot and being "cute" is fucking disgusting, this person X which I can call "Mary" comes along and takes my person away from me. This person X can be anyone, someone here, someone there, someone 300 miles away from here. Well, at least he'll be happy and that's what really matters, right?

Lix wants to be this <3

/ Lilita Luv